When Pigeons Attack (Sheri)
28 Jun 2010 11:50 PM Filed in: Humor
Some days you just walk out of your house, cross the street and reach your destination without interruption. If this day is without agenda, you might look up at the trees and appreciate the lovely birds adorning their branches, smile and think, “Gee, birds are such majestic, colorful creatures. Surely they are little angels sent from heaven to provide the soundtrack to my sunny day.” But these tranquil thoughts are necessarily accompanied by a secondary thought, one we don’t always recognize: “Stay the hell away from me, birds. Stay up there in your tree with your little bird shits and your little bird diseases. Leave me alone.” Saturday, this silent avian contract was abruptly, almost violently broken. Read More...
Daily Dialogue
07 Jan 2009 09:52 PM Filed in: Humor
Folks, this one’s real, though one of the speakers has been largely imagined.
Man on phone: God, I’m so pissed!
Customer-service rep.: I’m very sorry, sir.
Man on phone: So you’re telling me somebody bought “Street Fighter” using my phone?
Customer-service rep.: Yes, sir. Did you lose your phone at some point?
Man on phone: Well, I think I lost it Thursday night, but I got really drunk that night and didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I was so pissed, but I looked everywhere for it, and just as I was about to call and deactivate it, I found it.
Customer-service rep.: Uh huh.
Man on phone: Wait, can you look up the person’s account who bought it and find out who they are, so we can get them?
Customer-service rep.: No, sir. They used your account. It’s your phone.
Man on phone: Right. Man, I got to get a new phone. Hey, what do you think of the Samsung OMNIA? Has that been doing all right?
Customer-service rep.: Thank you for calling AT&T, sir. Have a nice day.
–CLICK–
Man on phone: God, I’m so pissed!
Customer-service rep.: I’m very sorry, sir.
Man on phone: So you’re telling me somebody bought “Street Fighter” using my phone?
Customer-service rep.: Yes, sir. Did you lose your phone at some point?
Man on phone: Well, I think I lost it Thursday night, but I got really drunk that night and didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I was so pissed, but I looked everywhere for it, and just as I was about to call and deactivate it, I found it.
Customer-service rep.: Uh huh.
Man on phone: Wait, can you look up the person’s account who bought it and find out who they are, so we can get them?
Customer-service rep.: No, sir. They used your account. It’s your phone.
Man on phone: Right. Man, I got to get a new phone. Hey, what do you think of the Samsung OMNIA? Has that been doing all right?
Customer-service rep.: Thank you for calling AT&T, sir. Have a nice day.
–CLICK–