daily dialogue
Daily Dialogue
07 Jan 2009 09:52 PM Filed in: Humor
Folks, this one’s real, though one of the speakers has been largely imagined.
Man on phone: God, I’m so pissed!
Customer-service rep.: I’m very sorry, sir.
Man on phone: So you’re telling me somebody bought “Street Fighter” using my phone?
Customer-service rep.: Yes, sir. Did you lose your phone at some point?
Man on phone: Well, I think I lost it Thursday night, but I got really drunk that night and didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I was so pissed, but I looked everywhere for it, and just as I was about to call and deactivate it, I found it.
Customer-service rep.: Uh huh.
Man on phone: Wait, can you look up the person’s account who bought it and find out who they are, so we can get them?
Customer-service rep.: No, sir. They used your account. It’s your phone.
Man on phone: Right. Man, I got to get a new phone. Hey, what do you think of the Samsung OMNIA? Has that been doing all right?
Customer-service rep.: Thank you for calling AT&T, sir. Have a nice day.
–CLICK–
Man on phone: God, I’m so pissed!
Customer-service rep.: I’m very sorry, sir.
Man on phone: So you’re telling me somebody bought “Street Fighter” using my phone?
Customer-service rep.: Yes, sir. Did you lose your phone at some point?
Man on phone: Well, I think I lost it Thursday night, but I got really drunk that night and didn’t realize it was gone until the next morning. I was so pissed, but I looked everywhere for it, and just as I was about to call and deactivate it, I found it.
Customer-service rep.: Uh huh.
Man on phone: Wait, can you look up the person’s account who bought it and find out who they are, so we can get them?
Customer-service rep.: No, sir. They used your account. It’s your phone.
Man on phone: Right. Man, I got to get a new phone. Hey, what do you think of the Samsung OMNIA? Has that been doing all right?
Customer-service rep.: Thank you for calling AT&T, sir. Have a nice day.
–CLICK–
Daily Dialogue
05 Jan 2009 06:23 PM Filed in: Humor
Pilot: I was doing nothing more than flying––nothing more.
Inspector: Yes, but isn’t the very act of flying suspicious, considering you’ve had little to no training in such an endeavor?
Pilot: I spent four years in the U.S. Flight Force and have been flying commercially ever since.
Inspector: Still, your gravity defiance has left me quite concerned.
Pilot: This is preposterous. Hold on a moment, would you? (Into the blinking red phone) Pilot to base, my artificial horizon is all jimbly, and the black and yellow lever is dangly doo. Please respond.
Inspector: In the meantime, I’ve detained your crew and removed this critical wire to dust for fingerprints.
–CRASH–
Inspector: Yes, but isn’t the very act of flying suspicious, considering you’ve had little to no training in such an endeavor?
Pilot: I spent four years in the U.S. Flight Force and have been flying commercially ever since.
Inspector: Still, your gravity defiance has left me quite concerned.
Pilot: This is preposterous. Hold on a moment, would you? (Into the blinking red phone) Pilot to base, my artificial horizon is all jimbly, and the black and yellow lever is dangly doo. Please respond.
Inspector: In the meantime, I’ve detained your crew and removed this critical wire to dust for fingerprints.
–CRASH–
Daily Dialogue
04 Jan 2009 10:09 PM Filed in: Humor
Guy: It’s snowing again, eh?
Dude: Yup. It’s gonna be tough driving tomorrow.
Guy: Don’t remind me. But, hey, it can’t be as bad near my place as it will be near yours. Last week, I don’t know how I even got out of your driveway.
Dude: Mmm. What? Wait, you haven’t been over to the house since Thanksgiving, and it was as dry and sunny as a Christian choir girl. What were you doing in my driveway?
Guy: I boned your wife.
THE END
Dude: Yup. It’s gonna be tough driving tomorrow.
Guy: Don’t remind me. But, hey, it can’t be as bad near my place as it will be near yours. Last week, I don’t know how I even got out of your driveway.
Dude: Mmm. What? Wait, you haven’t been over to the house since Thanksgiving, and it was as dry and sunny as a Christian choir girl. What were you doing in my driveway?
Guy: I boned your wife.
THE END